i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
