I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
