My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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