Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is classic penis vs brain.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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