using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
