Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
