I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
