I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize