please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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