Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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