we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize