Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
