i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
