Umm I'm too high to move.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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