so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
