I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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