He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Shame - the story of my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
