They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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