forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
