It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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