we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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