Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
