I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina is officially offended.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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