we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
