She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
