her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
