I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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