your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
