That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
