How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
