it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
