Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Randomize
