Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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