I hate all girls vehemently.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
