I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
