Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i just wanna soil my oats bro

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(914): View more from New York

I faked an abortion last night.

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(253): View more from Washington

Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt

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(443): View more from Maryland

I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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(408): View more from California

In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals

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(585): View more from New York

Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

(1-585): View more from New York

Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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(863): View more from Florida

I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.

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(765): View more from Indiana

it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.

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(323): View more from California

Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.

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