i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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