I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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