i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
