it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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