let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
