it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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