I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
At least life still wants to fuck me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize