walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
