That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
