So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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