so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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