Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
