Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize
