I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
