how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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