yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
