seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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