I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
