it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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