i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Bring me that man meat
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
