You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
