We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Someone came in the potted fern
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
