he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
