how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
