He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
