And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
